Photo by Jordan McQueen on Unsplash

Years back, I'm still someone who thinks socialise is important to survive in society. So, I will go to event or gathering that organize by friends because I don't want to be called the freak that doesn't socialise. And many told me that there will be more help available when I know more people(they call it human network). Then I spend my time entertaining others and tried to help them with the mindset that they will help me when I need them until I notice that's not how socialise works...

The socialise getting complicated as I grow older, it's not something that I once enjoy, go out for a drink, chit chat, help each other, have fun.. Socialise start to have hidden agenda within each meetup, some are obvious, some are like crocodile underwater, even if you look at it carefully, you might still make the mistake of thinking it is wood. After some time, I notice a pattern in socialise, if I have less value that can be utilized by others, the less they care about me. Even if I ever help them but probably not equip with useful skills when I try to get their help, the answer most probably is "Sorry, I'm busy." or just simply entertain without truly help. It's sad but it's the truth, everyone has the same amount of time, if I want them to spend their time, they will want to know what they get back in return, that's fair trade.

After knowing the fact, I start to shift my time from socialise to self-improvement. If I don't have the value, network will not work for me.

• example I'm 0 (no value for other), network is 1 (value of others), 0 x 1 = 0.
• No matter how much is the network value, whether it's 1 or 999, when it times 0, it will be 0.

Hence, I start to focus on improving myself. As I learn more things, I start to find that I don't need that much of network because I can handle it already. Then when others saw the result that I have, they will come to me. That's where I help you, you help me start, as I not "0" anymore. If you are still going for socialise without much skill, I would say put more time in learning skills first before going for socialise, we all have the same amount of time, the more time you put in to socialise, the less time you have to learn skill. If you are introvert like me, don't worry about getting called as a freak, focus on what makes you better, walk your own path. The scary thing is not being alone, but not moving forward. Move.. Move.. Move.. Move.. and Move..