It's hurt to admit the truth that a good friend that you treat sincerely turn their back against you just for their own benefit. I ever have a friendship that lasts for 8 years, we study together, play together, work together after graduation and talk nearly everything. Everything was good even though there were some glitches here and there but nothing breaks the friendship. 

One incident makes me rethink the friendship. I once tried to be a middleman to get a team back to normal by sorting out some conflict. That was a team of 3 friends, let's call my friend with 8 years' friendship "A" and another friend "B". I called "A" and check for the solution, I tried to stand on his side while sort out the conflict and let the teamwork again. When the team met up to discuss on the conflict, I stand on "A" side and cause "B" not happy about it. When "A" saw that situation, he turns against me and told a different story as he told me in the call. This incident makes "B" misunderstood me.

That incident has distressed me for months. When I rethink our friendship, I did notice that he will go for the opportunity first before sharing it while I try to share the information and fight for it together. I'm expecting to be treat the same as how I treat others and that's where I'm wrong. 

1.    Self-reflection

We have to do self-reflection from time to time. We tend to blame others but didn't check for our own fault. It's fine to make mistake, we just need to admit the mistake and learn the lesson within. No one is perfect.

2.    Don't expect to be treat the same in friendship

When we treated someone sincerely and nicely, don't expect them to treat us back the same. If they do, be happy for it. If they don't, there is nothing to be sad about. Expectation causes disappointment when the result is different. No expectation no disappointment.  

3.   Let them go

Life is like a journey, there will be people who travel together. Some will go to a different path in the middle of the journey. If there are companions in the journey, enjoy it. Else, we have to learn to move forward alone.  

4.   Forgive ourselves

Rather than forgive others, it would be easy to forgive ourselves. We can't control what others think or do but we definitely have full control of what we think and do. Even if we hold grudge toward other mistakes, it will only harm ourselves. It's always easy to say than do. So, we can imagine after 5 years, this incident will be negligible and everything still moves on.